Remember the guy I mentioned that I thought had been fired for constantly being late? Well, he wasn't. He just called in a couple days. He's only been here about 2 weeks, has been at least an hour late each day for roughly one and a half of those, and has called in twice. On top of that, when he is at work, he moves slower than the two guys we have in their sixties (one with a severe limp, the other just this side of legally blind). When Napolean finally calls him in to discuss his apparent lack of work ethic, he tells them that Hockey Temper and myself told him they didn't really care about whether or not someone was late, and that we basically encouraged him to do so.

Now the real story is that when he first started, he began asking questions like, "So do they, like, get really pissed when you come in late around here?" In other words, "How much can I get away with?" The true answer to his question is that if you've worked there for two years and work hard while you're there and keep things flowing smoothly (i.e. get all your work done every day) they tend to not dwell upon tardies and call ins and the like. And we basically told him that if he was a few minutes late once in awhile, they wouldn't fire you for it. We most certainly did NOT tell him, "Yeah, if you've only been here two weeks and you're at least an hour late everyday (three hours, more often than not) and then don't do shit while you are here, you should do just fine and be considered a model employee."

In fact, recently, Hockey Temper, who liked him from the beginning, had been warning him that he was going to get fired if he continued such behavior. I don't really talk much to him, and even if I did, I couldn't care less if he got fired. My philosophy on such matters is that I'm not there to babysit anyone, and if I'm expected to do so, I should get an extra $10 an hour, which I believe is the standard Babysitter's Club rate these days.

After the guy, who we shall henceforth call Narc, left the office, Napolean called HT and myself into his office, told us what the kid had said, and basically said if he has to write Narc up, he'd have to write us up as well, which he doesn't really seem to want to do. Thus, we should be on our best behavior, lest we get burnt for Narc's crimes. He also left us instructions that we were not to let Narc know of this discussion, and that the kid has a clean slate now.

Let me repeat this, he tells me and HOCKEY TEMPER not to mention this to Narc. Now I'm no problem in this department. I'll just play cool with the guy, and then do some Narcing of my own whenever Narc screws up, and basically do my best to make the guy get fired any way I can figure out how. Of course that's underhanded, backstabbing, and basically hypocritical, but fuck it, he started it. I'm not one to shy away from rolling around in the muck.

Hockey Temper takes a more Joe-Pesci-in-Goodfellas-and-Casino approach to Narcs. There are no clean slates with HT. If he's pissed at you, and he IS nicknamed Hockey Temper for a reason, you're going to fucking know about it the next time he sees you.

That time happened to be about 15 minutes later in the breakroom. I was already off the clock (I'd just clocked out before the lecture) and HT was on his legitimate last break. Then in walks Narc. Mind you Narc also walked in on my lunch, and my last break, and and who knows how many other times that day. Since he's part time, he should only have two breaks. Apparently he hadn't learned much from his meeting.

He sits down at the table behind ours, and says, "I was almost fired like ten minutes ago for being late and stuff. I thought you all said they didn't care."

Me: They don't care about a couple minutes here and there, but not 3 hours late every fucking day. (That's about as diplomatic as I get.)

HT: Yeah, and most people that have, you know, worked here awhile, know to use their fucking heads about it. They use some common sense and know if they do good for the company, like, you know, work sometimes, then they don't get into trouble for shit. (That's about as diplomatic as Hockey Temper gets.)

Narc: So, what, are you saying I don't work?

HT: Yeah, yeah that's basically what I'm saying, you don't work. In fact, how about this? How about you don't even fucking talk to me anymore.

Narc: Wait, what did I do?

HT: Nothing, you didn't do anything. You and me, we're cool. But you're a bad employee, and I don't wanna talk to you, You and me are fucking cool, just don't fucking talk to me anymore.

Narc: All right, fine.

Two minutes of uncomfortable silence, then Narc finally gets up and leaves. And that's Hockey Temper's way of not letting him know Napolean said anything to us.

After a few more minutes, HT says to me, "that's why you're cool, man. I don't know how you can sit there and not just be completely pissed off at that guy." So I tell him of my "Revenge is a dish best served cold" philosophy, and that one of these days, I'll be the one stabbing the knife into the guys back and twisting it, should the opportunity arrive. We both agree that we have differing philosophies.

He also amused me later by all of a sudden cracking up and saying, "'We're cool, we're cool, just don't fucking talk to me!' I don't talk very well when I'm pissed."

But eventually HT nailed the root of the problem. "Look, some fucking guy that's only been here two weeks isn't going to come in here and fuck up something I've been working towrds for two years. Fuck that."

Thankfully, I'm off tomorrow. So, if Narc goes to Napolean and narcs again, I won't have to worry about it until Saturday. Of course, if he does, I'm sure since I was sitting there, he'll include me in his complaint. If questioned, I know HT will tell them exactly what happened, and I'll just play the non-babysitter card. Of course, the real problem is they still expect Narc to work in our department, and I know the very next time I work with him, he'll be asking me, "Gee, duh, what's wrong with Hockey Temper?" I'll just tell him I don't know. If HT has a grudge about something, that's his deal and I don't get involved. Pleading absolute ignorance seems the best course of action here.

And yet, none of this destroyed my good mood. In fact, the whole thing was rather fun. Plus, since I'm on vacation next week, by the time I get back the whole thing will have probably blown over. Turns out next week was the better one to take off, anyway. Otherwise I would just be coming in when all the shit was brewing up. As long as I make it through Saturday, I should be gold.

In other store news, the drug dealer is training to be a store manager one day. I'd LOVE to work in THAT store (actually not being sarcastic for once).

Other than that, not much went on today. Heh.

Wooderson

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