This will be a bit of a stream of consciousness piecem so bear with me, wherever I may lead.

I'm 25, a college graduate, and I work in a grocery store. I'm a loser, baby...

But by choice.

Girl and I were discussing this subject once, and came to the conclusion that, though both of us would like to have a lot of money, niether of us are willing to work hard enough to get it.

We're both creative, liberal-arts-minded folks, and the thought of getting a salaried, 9 to 5 just sucks at our very souls. Not that retail is much better, but the responsibility is lighter, non-existant after work hours. The last thing we need to deal with is responsibility. We have a cat, that's enough of a burden right there.

Unfortuanately, I'm pretty good at my job. It's not hard to be, it's just putting shit on shelves for fuck's sake. I know what what I'm doing (a rare commodity), have seniority, and could have my pick of at least two managment positions and be in line to move right on up that corperate ladder.

But I've noticed what happens to managers. They get bitched at, work shitty hours, and never actually get the raise they're promised. Fuck that.

So I turn down management positions whenever they come my way.

Unfortunately, they know my potential (potential...goddammit, that shit's been screwing me since the first grade. The favorite parent teacher comment: "Little Wooderson's not living up to his potential.") so they just give me all the jobs they can't trust anyone else with. So I still get stuck with shitty hours and no raises. Fortunately, I avoid the bitchfests managers recieve, becuase, when it comes right down to it, I'm still an hourly schmoe working beyond his job description, so what can they say?

I see the people that underachieve even more than I do and envy them. They get to work their regular shifts, at regular hours, coast around on fumes and not get much done. They don't have to worry about working 7-3:30 on Saturday mornings, then come back at 10 on Saturday evenings and work until 6:30 Sunday mornings.

So my advice to all those out there in the workforce, or those of you about to enter it, is to underacheive to the best of your ability. If you work hard, all you get for it is more work.

But, who am I to complain? I get away with plenty. I've been known to take six breaks a day, and any little piece of work I'm given that can be taken to the smoking break room...you know where you'll find me. They have to know, but don't say anything. So, in a way, the more slack you pick up, the more slack you're permitted to create. Still, I'd trade it all in for the assurance I'd never be asked to work Saturday nights again.

Saturday nights. Why fricken SATURDAY night? The most depressing night of the week to work in a grocery store. From Midnight til 3 is the worst by far. That when all the people my age come in drunk, with drunk girls they just met, to get pizza and snacks so they'll have more energy to fuck later. And there I am at work...watching them...wishing I was one of them. Drunk and about to get laid.

Not that that's what ends up happening to me on the Saturday nights I don't work, but godammit at least the possibility exists. Ya know?

Napolean promised me last week that he wouldn't ask me to do it again if I just did it once more last Saturday. For a promise like that, I jumped on it. And what happens today? Good ol' Napolean II asked me today, "Is there any possibility you can work tomorrow night?" Luckily, I had the promise and brought it up and he relented. So no Saturday night this week.

Of course, they'll ask every week, and eventually they're going to stop taking no for an answer, I fear. Damn understaffing. Were down a frozen manager and a POS manager (the guy that makes sure all the tags in the store are switched and everything's signed and ringing up right), both of which work every Saturday night. Frozen is where I've worked for 2 years, and POS is something I trained to take over a few months back before I realized the value of underachieving. So until they fill those positions, I'm plan B for whichever one they need. They certainly can't ask someone that underachieves even me!

Okay, this is going on and on, and could probably continue until all the bandwith diaryland provides would be sucked directly into my post and be trapped there. Plus, by this point, I'm probably just annoying people. But I have nothing to do til about 11:30 tonight, so I'm sure I'll be ranting about something else in no time.

Wooderson

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