Jesus, I meant to just take a nap on the couch last night at 10:30 until Seinfeld came on at 11:30, but I just woke up and it's the next fucking day! I hope I didn't cuss out Girl or something when she tried to wake me up. I've been known to do that in my sleep. Hehe.

Anyway, yesterday was not a good day for Hockey Temper. His old roommate/best friend who he's fallen out of contact with lately killed himself the night before. He found out at about midnight, and called in at 3:30 and told them there was an emergency and he wouldn't be in uintil about 11:30 or 12:00.

When he did come in he was wearing a dresspants, and a shirt and tie. For about the first half hour he didn't say a word to me, and I didn't say anything to him because I heard he'd called in about the emergency, knew he was late, saw the suit, saw he didn't look to happy, saw his eyes looked bloodshot and knew that was NOT a good time to engage Hockey Temper in any sort of conversation. Then he came up to me and told me what happened.

That's when I realized just how bad I am at dealing with any sort of human emotion, especially from a guy. He started crying as he told me, and I was thinking "Oh shit, what do I do now?" All I could really say was "Jesus, that's fucked up. Fucked UP!" I didn't want to say I was sorry, because I don't think that really means anything. Sorry for what? I wasn't around to stop the guy? Or does it mean, "I feel sorry for you because you're in such a state right now?" HT is definitely not the type that wants people feeling sorry for him. So I thought "That's fucked up" pretty much summed everything up.

Here's what I don't understand. Why do so many people kill themselves around the holidays, especially BEFORE Christmas? I can understand if he was completely alone and the Holiday's reminded him of the family he used to have and all that, but last I heard this guy had a girlfriend, and it was his mother that called HT, so obviously he had some family left. Why not wait at least until a few days after Christmas, just to see what type of presents you got? At least enjoy those for a couple days before offing yourself!

I have the stupidest reasons for not committing suicide. I mean there's the whole loving wife and family thing, but even if I didn't have those things and was completely alone, I still wouldn't do it because ...well, perhaps I should tell you the story.

I was sitting in a movie theater just after one of those school shootings happened. It might have been Columbine, but I don't think so. Maybe one of the others. Anyway, the perpetrators were either dead or in jail. As that was running through my mind, the movie previews came on and there was the one for "Armegeddon" and I thought, "Damn, those kids that just shot up their school are never going to get to see this movie. They'll never get to see ANY of the big, new movies coming out ever again.

So that's why I won't commit suicide. There are still two more LOTRs movies coming out, and Cabin Fever this summer. And after those, there's always going to be some other big movie just about to break. And I want to see them. And if I kill myself, I can't see any of them. And no more big news events, scandles, wars, terrorist attacks.

Be it ever so shallow, that's how I lived through high school.

Anmyway, after HT got to work and all, he seemed to get in a little bit of a better mood, even joking and laughing, which surprised me. He even looked at the silver lining of his friend's suicide, like the fact that his aunt bought him a $250 outfit to wear to the funeral. So that was good. But I just worry about him when he's alone with nothing to take his mind off things. That's when there's the greatest chance he'll either follow in his friend's footsteps, or go out, get druck, and slam into a concrete abutment at 90mph while driving home drunk, sad, and pissed off.

We shall see.

Anyway, my day ended up being a lot better than his. Every time I went to the break room (about six times yesterday, but one of those was after I punched out for the day), there was someone cool up there to talk to. Also, they sent a guy over to frozen to help us with our order, which wasn't that big to begin with. So me and HT could screw around more while that guy did all the work (that guy's new, he'll soon learn that working hard is foolish, but for now we'll take advantage of him).

Toward the end of the day was pretty cool, too. The managers gave me some tags to put up that weren't hung the previous morning. Some of them were in the wine section and while I was over there, some old bitch drove her little motorized cart into a wine display, knocking out two bottles of cheapass wine. God, it smelled good! So, as I was getting some supplies to clean it up, I ran into the Turk. The Turk is a pretty little 19 year old chick from Turkey that has a great taste in movies and, of course, a cute accent. She said she'd help me clean up. So I got a broom and dustpan for the glass and some wet floor markers, she got a mop and bucket, and we went over to attack the spill. On the way there, we ran into DS, a kid that looks and talks like he has Downs Syndrome, but is actually quite normal in all other respects. He's not the sharpest crayon in the box, but he's definitely not retarded. However, he can be kind of annoying. Any, he took the mop from Turk and strated mopping, which is the hardest part of the job, and I just did the sweeping while Turk stood there talking to me. Napolean and Napolean II came by to see the damage and they were amused when I said I just wanted to roll arund in the stuff or lap it up. That if it had been expensive stuff, I WOULD have lapped it up because about the only way I'm ever going to get expensive wine is off the floor with shards of glass in it.

After that was done, I still had tags, and Turk was tired of working with DS, whom she'd been working with all day, so she just followed me around while I finished up the tags. It's always an ego boost when you have some hot chick following you around like a puppy just to talk to you and laugh at your jokes. Hehe. Some of the tags were for frozen, so Hockey Temper got to witness this phenomenon and was later asking me how the fuck I managed that. Hehehe.

To top things off, after I got home, I got to brag about it to Girl. Luckily, she's not the jealous type (and neither am I). At one point last night she was on the phone with Emma, telling her about how bad she felt for Hockey Temper, and that maybe she should give him some pity sex to make him feel better. I grinned and told her to go ahead. She was puzzled for a second, then it dawned on her. "Ohhhh, I see, so if I had sex with HT, you could have sex with Turk?" I said, "Basically, yes." She just said, "I don't think so." Hehehe. That's just the relationship we have. We've both agreed an affair wouldn't lead to divorce, just to a counter-affair that would even things out. So, it's kind of like a Mexican standoff. Actually, I think that's a much better way to assure against cheating than just the threat of fighting and divorce. Mostly it sucks because it'd be much easier to find a guy to fuck. There's NO challenge for a girl to get laid because all guys are sluts. It would be much harder for me to find a girl to fuck in response, because all girls aren't sluts and those that are usually are the types you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place. But I think I could have a chance with Turk, so now the scale's more evened out. Not that either of us would ever actually HAVE an affair, just joke about them, but you never know, eh? It's always nice to keep a just-in-case option on the side. Hehehe.

Anyway, this is entirely too long an entry as it is. Maybe I'll do another one later. This should give you enough to chew on for now.

Wooderson

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