One of these shows is called Even Stevens. It's about a wacky young boy with a different perspective on life and how he gets along with his perfect family. You know the drill. We'll get back to this point in a second.

Another thing they have on the Disney Channel are these little interview segments with Disney Channel stars during the commercials. In these commercials they bare their souls with their politically correct, utterly non-offensive, real life views on issues such as racism, peer pressure, reading for fun, and how to cope with the threat of global terrorism (I shit you not).

Well, in one of these interviews, the kid from Even Stevens is explaining how one of his parents is Jewish and the other one is Christian, so he considers himself both Christian and Jewish. Okay, does anyone else see a little problem here? That's literally Christians Without Christ. You can't believe that the son of God has yet to visit the world, and yet, the son of God visited the world 2000 years ago.

This is exactly why I'm an athiest. I don't believe the entirety of any one religion, so I don't believe in any of them at all. There's way too much selective religion out there. Very few people follow the Bible to the absolute letter, and those that do are the types you don't want to be around.

There was a guy that used to come to my college campus and preach to all us sinners. There was always a huge crowd around him at any one time because he liked say things like, "All you girls here are whores! Higher education is not the place for women! Women are meant to stay at home! You're all going to hell." You know, shit like that. And you know what? He's right! At least, according to the Bible he is. But your average, everyday preachers over look such little gems in the Bible. They don't choose to preach on those. But come on, it's in the fucking book! I feel, if The Bible is supposed to be the true word of God, you follow all the fucking rules in it, and if you're going to pick and choose what you agree with and what you don't, don't even fucking bother! There's no point to it, you're going to hell anyway, so live it up.

The only thing worse is the people that choose little parts of all religions, the parts most comfortable and convenient to them, and then call themselves "Spiritual."

Damn, all that from the Disney Channel.

Oh, while we're on Disney, there's a new show starring Raven Simone (sp?) being advertised. First of all, Raven Simone should not be hot and have big tits. She should be five years old, and finishing off the last of the magic left in the Cosby Show. Second of all, she's doing this little video to promote her show, right? She's singing and dancing on some lower-middle class urban street, right? Even though she's wearing a rather warm-looking jacket, there's a scene where some of the backup dancers begin frolicking in that old standby: the fire hydrant with water spewing out of it. Just like in the real cities in all those movies, eh? Well, at one point, they do a quick cut to the fire hydrant, and there's a fireman there, supervising the fun while gettin' down.

Now, think about this, in some boardroom somewhere, they're developing this commercial, and they get to the fire hydrant part. Now, at what point does someone say, "You know, we should have a fireman there to open the hydrant, so that way all the kids out there watching this will see that this all this 'fun' is sanctioned by the fire department, and imply that they should never just take a wrench, go out to the watermain in front of their house, and open the fucker themselves." (Yeah, instead they'll now call 911, and ask if the fire department can come open a hydrant for them to play in.) I mean, did that discion come abut in the planning stages? Perhaps the director thought of it on set. Or maybe they had to reshoot a little part of it including a fireman, because someone thought of the ramifications after principle photography wrapped up. In any event, it must suck working in a place so kid-centric that every conceivable conept must be reworked and reworked to show that all the fun had in these little bites of entertainment is done responsibly and under close adult supervision. Where no hint of even the most minor juvenile deliquency can go unpunished. I know I never would have been the guy to think of bringing in the fireman.

Perhaps that's why I don't work for Disney, and should never even be allowed on any disney owned land.

Okay, one more little rant, then I'm done with the Disney Channel, at least for tonight. Also in their commercial breaks, they have little you-can-do-it segments for kids. One of their favorites is getting professional sports stars to show kids how to do little tricks with basketballs, soccerballs, etc. Well, there's this one with a professional Motocross racer. Actually, there's two, one in which he's popping a wheelie (not SO bad), but that's not the one that concerns me. He does another one in which he teaches kids how to jump a dirt ramp, raise their feet off their pegs, raise their asses off the seats, and wind up standing on the the seat for a brief second while in the air, then slip back down and land it. What. The. FUCK? I mean, this thing ran for like a year without anyone complaining. Obviously this one repeatedly slipped by whoever thought to bring in the fucking fireman! Or maybe it didn't, because at the bottom of the screen is a tiny disclaimer all but whited out by the sky this kid is flying through, that says Do not attempt this stunt without professional supervision. Okay, first of all, where is the average kid going to find "professional supervision" and second, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU EXPLAINING TO THE KIDS STEP BY STEP HOW TO DO IT IF YOU DON'T ACTUALLY WANT THEM TO DO IT? These are supposed to be little short exercises kids are SUPPOSED to try at home! Why stick this one in there? I mean, the SLIGHTEST miscalculation in this little stunt when not performed by someone with a lot of practice on a motorcycle could result in death. Fucking DEATH! Or, if not that, then significant bodily harm! I never rode motorcycles when I was a kid, but I did some pretty stupid and risky things on my regular bike, and not even I would try something like THAT back then. And motorcycles are a lot heavier and go a lot faster than a BMX. Well, I take that back, I may have tried something like that if I saw it on the Disney Channel and it was explained to me step by step!

Okay, that's enough for now. Just another glimpse into the stupid things I obsess about.

Wooderson

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