I was supposed to have 2 days off work in a row, but fucking Uncle Dan wanted me to switch a day off, so I'd be in a day before Thursday so I could finish the fucking newsletter I do for the store. When's he going to realize it takes me more than 3 hours to do a goddam 10 page newsletter? Apparently never, because he always decides one day he wants it done THAT DAY, and it's usually around noon before he decides he has enough time to deal with me coming up to do it. I mean, for godsakes, it's not like I'm all that much of a time constraint. All he has to do is hand me the articles that come in and I assure him I can take it from there. But noooo, he always has to have a meeting about it with me and the HR manager, and meetings take time. At least his do because he never fucking shuts up!

And it's the same shit EVERY newsletter. He wants the back page left open so he can include something. Only problem is, he doesn't have it written yet, even though he has at least a whole month to complete it. So does he get right on that? No, he waits until I'm completely done, except for his article, then he acts all annoyed when I say, "We're just waiting for you, Uncle Dan." So now he has to write this fucking article, and it's my fault that he does, because I have the audacity to be done. And usually by that time, I'm already 15 minutes over the time I was supposed to leave.

So he writes his fucking article for like a half hour, in longhand because he doesn't understand computers, which means I have to retype the fucker and get it formatted and all, and by the time it's all squared away, I'm probably about 45 minutes over my time.

Then he has to look at it, even though he doesn't really know what he's looking at. Then I have to print it all out and get it put in the right order and everything.

This goes on once a month.

Then, one month awhile ago, he calls the store up like 15 people at a time to have a meeting about some nonsense or another. In that meeting he talks about how he's going to form a communication committee, whose responsibility it will be to run the newsletter, since he's been doing it all by himself the first 6 months or so of its existance and it's just too much for him to handle with his busy schedule. He doesn't even mention me in the fucking meeting I'M FUCKING SITTING IN!

I repeat, all he has to do is hand me the fucking articles people sent up and get his fucking article done on time and THAT'S IT! It's not my fault he has to make a big production over it every month. Oh, and one of his gripes was that he had to always be the one to e-mail the dept. managers to ask for newsletter items. E-MAIL!!! The on thing he CAN work on a computer and does so often. And all he does then is send out a mass e-mail which says: "It's time for the newsletter again. Please submit your Articles to myself, the HR manager, or Wooderson. Thank you." Big fucking hassle, eh? A big fucking hassle I'd be more than willing to do, except I can't use the e-mail because I'm just not that trusted an employee, I guess. He wouldn't even give me the password to the computers, he'd always have to get some other manager to come up and get me in, since he didn't know any passwords but his own and he didn't want me having access to managerial shit. Eventually yhe HR manager gave me the training password.

Anyway, since that meeting, the communication committee formed, with me since I do the newsletter, we meet twice, in both of which he says the exact same fucking things, and he insists on running the show, including the newsletter. Hello? I thought you didn't have time for the newsletter!!! And now you're wanting to run the newsletter as well as all other communication committee business, none of which has actually been implemented because you have no time for meetings you just have to run about things you have no time to run anyway.

And, I just know, the next time he has a store meeting, he'll comlain about having to run the fucking newsletter all by himself again. That's what he likes to do, have complete control over every aspect of the store, even parts that would run just fine without him, and then he complains about having to run every aspect of the store. Well, boo fucking hoo. You know what would happen if we TRIED to do the newsletter without bothering him with it? He'd freak the fuck out because I was doing the newsletter and wasn't in my dept. where I was supposed to be and he'd call me when he needed me, so we could have a little meeting with the HR manager about it. I could come up and see him around noon. Fucker.

MAKE THAT 16 CIGARETTES!

Oh yeah, here's a story from Uncle Dan. I know it pretty well, since I heard it TWICE!

"Back when I was an assistant manager, I used to work for this guy who was...excuse me...a real bastard. And everyone hated him, but I was the most popular guy in the store because I was the assistant manager. Anyway, every manager had a specific duty and mine was the newsletter. I used to run the newsletter every month [USED TO?]. So when I started it up, I had a "Name the Newsletter" contest, and the person that named the newsletter won a dinner for two and a pair of hockey tickets. So, this woman down at the service deck won, and you know who she chose to take to dinner and the hockey game? Me. She said, 'I refuse to go unless I can take Uncle Dan with me.'"

And that sums up Uncle Dan.

But it opens up another can of worms. Name the Newsletter. We've been running the "Name the Newsletter" contest for approximately 1 year now. See, we ran it the first newsletter, and people sent in the entries. The second newsletter came out with the list of names, and said to vote for one of the names. The next month the results came in, but he didn't have time to count them all. The fourth month, he counted them and one he didn't like won, so he claimed it was a tie, and he would have to do a revote, but didn't know which names to put on, so ignore it for that month. By this time, people are asking me every fucking day who won and I'd just tell them, "Ask Uncle Dan, he's the one dicking around with it (only in slightly more polite terms)." The fifth month, I asked him and he said, "I don't know I'm tired of dealing with it." Then the newsletter didn't get put out for a few months becuase of Uncle Dan's time constraints, and because the new HR manager sucked. When we started back up, with another new (this one better) HR manager, we didn't mention it for a few months. Then last month, a shitty newsletter came out put together by the HR manager and which I had nothing to do with, and it had the old list of names, minus the one that he didn't like. So I asked who won when I was starting the newsletter Tuesday, and found out no votes had come in. Well, I fucking wonder why? Could it be that no one has any confidence in your fucking contests anymore, Uncle Dan? I suggested that since there were no votes, that I just cast 1 vote and therefore my vote will be the winner and we could all get on with our lives. But, no, no, just send the list out AGAIN!!! So once again, the newsletter is just named NEWSLETTER. Jeee-ZUS CHRIST!

So tomorrow, I get to go in instead of having two days off in a row for the first time since my vacation, and finish this newsletter, and guess when I get to come up? NOON!!! Boy fucking howdy! Oh well, it's at least half done, so hopefully 3 1/2 hours will be enough time. 'cause it just HAS to be out Thursday to go out with the paychecks. We couldn't just put a stack in the break rooms, because then each and every person wouldn't take one (as opposed to getting it with their paychecks and probably toss it in the trash immediately) and he would see how little people care about the fucking newsletter Uncle Dan slaves over for so many hours.

But, I have to do it. It's one of the few things left that I still do that ensures no one fucks with me and my fake breaks and semi-special treatment.

Damn, I just spent about an hour on this rant and I have to get up in 1 1/2 hours. This fucker better post when I send it. Heh.

Wooderson

PS Make that 17 cigarettes.

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