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2003-02-12/8:32 p.m.
2 reasons why I hate people

I have two reasons to hate people tonight, and I haven't even left the apartment.

1) On the national front, people everywhere are buying duct-tape and plastic to cover their windows to prevent bio-terrorism from entering their homes. Even though experts and common sense say this is stupid and useless, people do it anyway. Imagine how easy it would be to murder someone now, then cover it up. Someone could buy the duct tape and plastic to wrap up a body, then claim it was all for bioterrorism when cops asked about the once-strange purchases.

2) The electicity went off at my wife's store today and there was no emergency generator. Girl said people started panicing, running around, fleeing the store as fast as possible. Come on, folks, it's just a little power outage, not the end of the fucking world! Yet people act like it is. It was out for maybe 15 minutes, yet after five or so, people stuck in the back of the store started crying out for help. I hate people that panic for such stupid reasons!

"Oh my GOD! The lights are out? How can I survive for fifteen minutes without electricity? What if it goes on for like an hour? Or even two? Will we have to start eating each other after 3? I hope no one decides to eat me. I have been putting on a little extra weight recently. God, if you can hear me without the aid of electricity, I promise to join Weight Watchers and not have an ounce of fat on me if you would PLEASE just turn the lights back on!"

Then can you just imagine when they finally get out of the store and get home to their families or psychologists to relate their death defying experience?

The only advantage of having these people around (and there appear to be sooooo many of them) is that when some bad shit really does go down, the rest of us people that can keep calm in the face of such adversity as no electricity can eat them to survive.

Let's just hope they don't actually join Weight Watchers beforehand!

Wooderson

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