I�ve recently discovered that the way to get drunk and still make it to work at 7:00 in the morning (or a reasonable time thereabouts, at least) is to take up drinking really early the day before. If I�m sobering up by midnight or so, then the alarm clock seems to wake me up in the morning. This was only proven after much testing, however, and more tests will have to be done to evaluate long-term results. Luckily, I�m dedicated. The rum started flowing at 3:00 yesterday afternoon and didn�t stop until around 11:00 or so. Pathetic, yes, but at least I wasn�t drinking alone. Well, Hockey Temper had a couple beers, THEN I was drinking alone, but let us not split hairs. After all, it was my first officially celebrated 4-20. For some reason, perhaps the booze, perhaps the magical quality of 4-20, my high was mellow and not accompanied by all the annoying (and sometimes painful) muscle twitches and upset stomach; just a dry eyeball this morning. Still, I think I�d do better steering clear of the stuff except for on sanctioned holidays�or if there are 3 or more people in the room going at it anyway.
It was another opportunity for Punky and Hockey Temper to come together and share more of their common interests. In other words, they inspected each other�s stashes, bongs, and pipes. At one point, when Girl and Punky were out of the room, HT mentioned that he�d been trying to hit on her a little. I didn�t tell him that I hadn�t even noticed. Heh. Poor boy�s even more socially inept than I am, which is a very sad statement indeed.
When I came into work this morning, however, there was no time to speak of such things as life and love. I walked in to find a curious sight: Hockey Temper cleaning the grocery office door with industrial strength cleaner. When I got closer he showed me how he�d recently become a biohazard. Apparently while slicing through ice cream sleeve, he dragged his box cutter across his middle with predicable results, namely a gaping wound. When it wouldn�t stop bleeding, he filled out an incident report and went to the ER where he received 4 stitches and a prescription for pain pills. Because of the pain pills, I�m sure he�s just fine, especially if he takes them with alcohol, which I predict to be true knowing that boy. He also attained a rather large bandage on his middle finger, which he is more than proud to show off, especially to those that make him angry.
Work should be good for the next week, since Napoleon is out of town, leaving Napoleon II to run things. Today on my first break he came in and asked if it was time to go home yet and stated he didn�t want to be there. I concurred, and took that as a signal to not work very hard today. Mission accomplished.
Wooderson
previous - next
