I think one of the reasons this didn't seem much like a vacation was because I didn't have one shred of time where I was alone in the apartment. Emma was here practically my whole vacation. I couldn't move freely. I'd meant to get some reading done, watch some movies, maybe even do a little work on one of the many novels floating around in my head. In total I watched 3 movies (all of which I'd seen before), read MAYBE 20 pages, and wrote a grand total of no words. And, as you could tell, I only managed to update my diary once.

Now, granted, I did have a pretty good time. Girl is certainly fun to be around, as is Emma when she's actually paying attention to her surroundings and not off on the phone somewhere abusing our flat-rate long distance or lost in the world of Yahoo!Msg. Let it not be said that good times were not had, for they definitely were. However, you have to realize that for roughly the first 20 years of my life, I was a loner. My parents were usually out of the house, and I had no real friends outside of school. To me this was normal. I learned to entertain myself and got used to a certain level of freedom you can only have when you're truly alone. If you want to watch a movie, go for it. You don't have to worry about if the movie will be to anyone else's tastes, no do you have to worry about whether anyone else wants to watch a movie at that exact moment in time. If I wanted to read a book, I could turn off the TV and have complete silence. I didn't have to feel guilty about seeming anti-social.

Of course, since I've been married, this alone time has diminished. However, I don't consider this a bad thing. There was always a certain amount of loneliness in my previous existence, which I no longer have to worry about. My relationships before my wife were for the most part empty and meaningless. With girl, I know I have at least one meaningful relationship in my life, which I certainly find comforting and wouldn't trade for the world.

But this week was just a little too much human contact. There was ALWAYS someone here. I love my wife, I like Emma (usually), but except for a couple of times when they went out shopping, there was no silence or potential for silence in the apartment. In order for me to feel rested there must be silence, or if not silence, at least niose of my own creation (movies, typing, etc.). Hell, even when she was in bed, Emma had calls coming in sometimes at 3 in the morning. Basically, it seemed like I couldn't even finish a thought without some noise interupting it...typing keyboards, faint laughter from Emma's room as she talked on the phone, creaking computer chairs, televisions, discussions, comments, ringing phones...you get the picture.

I guess what I'm saying is my body is thoroughly rested, because I honestly didn't do shit this week, but my mind is as tired as it ever was. And going into vacation, it wasn't resting my body that I was worried about.

To top it off, Emma went home today, but my parents came in for a visit. That meant frantic cleaning, hiding of all tobacco paraphenalia and odors, and then playing host to my parents and grandmother. Luckily, it went surprisingly well, even though they showed up early and we didn't get near as much cleaning done as was really needed. However, their visit to the apartment only lasted about ten minutes, and after that they bought us a good dinner and about $150 worth of groceries. Not much to complain about there, except for the fact that we shopped at my store, and I got a nice long look at what I was going to have to return to tomorrow. Thankfully, the 'rents weren't the least bit naggy today, which is a good thing, considering that might have driven me off the deep end.

All right, enough typing. I'm going to go and read and hopefully not fall asleep on the couch in the process, thus making me late for work in the morning after I've already had a week off. I don't think that would go over too well.

Wooderson

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