At least she hears about it, I do not. I get it third-hand from her. Every time she tells them she's going on break, there are comments such as, "Well, I guess Wooderson is also on HIS break." or "Oh, you need to go take a break with your boyfriend?"

Yes, it seems all those breaks spent discussing movies and bands and whatnot were actually spent figuring out the best times for us to fuck without my wife finding out about it. Perhaps we're even fucking right there on one of the breakroom tables. I guess one of those numerous people walking in and out of there all day must have spotted us. Oopsie.

And those rides home MUST end in hot, sweaty marathon sex in my swanky bachelor pad I share with my wife. I guess I was wrong about her never having been in my apartment, nor I in hers.

I also find it funny that our affair garners so much attention, while so many go by unnoticed. For instance, the one with the 38 year old woman and the 20-something guy that she so often brags about has slipped below the radar.

Then there's the painfully obvious one between Napolean II and one of the frontend coordinators. Even though he's married with two young children, they flaunt their illicit activities by taking breaks together, and are even sometimes seen standing in the aisles talking to one another while on the clock! This sounds a LOT loike my affair with Turk, so surely there's some deep anal penetration going on there.

Oh, and lets not forget the security guard, who is perhaps the most blatant sexual predator I've seen with my own two eyes since our high school quarterback who missed most of his senior year due to his raping of a ten year old girl. This guy hits on anything under the age of 25, and is never seen talking to a male. I once witnessed him bury his face in the neck of a 15 year old girl and make chomping sounds.

Yet no one notices these people. The talk of the management team is me sticking my dingaling in Turk's hoo-hoo. And here I thought I'd never actually touched any part of her body. Why am I always the last to know this shit?

Perhaps it's because they have what it takes to ask the tough questions to people that have nothing to do with the situation. Like Hockey Temper, for instance, who knows all my cummings and goings. Thankfully, he professed to know of no such affair. Unfortunately, his not knowing of anything meant little, and really I suppose it IS tough to prove a negative. I suggested if they asked again, he should still claim to have no knowledge of any affair, but he does know that myself and my wife are "into that type of thing." He cackled and readily agreed.

Hockey Temper's theory is that Napolean wants to wax Turk's ass like Mop 'n' Glow, and is therefore jealous of my affair. However, I believe he is hoping to avoid a Springeresque episode between my wife and Turk smack dab in the middle of the shampoo aisle.

Meanwhile, Girl bartering a movie deal for me to film Galadriel and Alpha Male havig sex, and possibly one involving herslef and Galadriel, with another possible spinoff of an outright foursome. She also knows of both my platonic relationship with Turk, as well as our hardcore sex romps, the latter of which she thinks is pretty funny, except for the fact that she comes off as the hapless fool of a wife.

For my part, I choose to remain silent about the whole thing until asked directly. Then I'm going to make them all wish they were never born as they hear entirely more than they ever intended about my sex life, as well as the sex lives of the entire store. I can only hope Napolean II is present to learn of his shocking affair with the frontend girl. It should make his day.

Wooderson

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