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2003-01-05/6:02 a.m.
Serial killers and wannabe playas.

Holy shit! Li'l Jackass is being a holy terror! I finally had to break down and wrestle him. I swear that cat's not happy unless he's being knocked in the head.

Work was pretty silly again today, as usual. I spent most of my day doing signs. Ever since the POS guy quit (thank God! He was such an annoying little fucker), no one's doing the signs anymore until Sunday morning. Usually they have another girl do it, but today I was tapped to help her out.

Speaking of this other girl...hmmm... let's see...we'll call her Evian ("naive" spelled backwards). Evian is a good little Christian girl ,and just for that I could call her naive. But wait, there's more. This guy came into the store today and asked her where something was. She sowed him and then he proceeded to offer her money to leave work with him to walk his dog, since he recently pulled a hamstring. Her response? She couldn't walk out on work, but she'd be happy to walk the dog when she got off work later. She told me this and I, of course, said, "Uhhhh, doesn't that sound a little serial-killerish to you?" No, it didn't because he seemed like a really nice guy and she was really good at reading people. So, throughout the day, I continued to think of serial killers that were "nice guys": Ted Bundy (always the example in these cases), John Wayne Gacy was hired out for children's birthday parties, the founder of Sav-A-Lot stores, etc. I said, "Here's what's going to happen. You're going to show up at the park, and he's going to lead you over to a van and say, 'The dogs in here, help me get him out.' and when you do, he's going to bash you in the head with something or taser your ass and shove you in." Her, response, "He DID say he had a grey van...but he gave me the license plate number!" JeeeeZUS! Like having the guys license plate number will do you any good while he's fucking your corpse and gibbering about his mamma. Anyway, by the end of the day I guess I creeped her out enough that she called one of her friend's and possibly her friend's boyfriend to go with her. Still utter stupidity, but I guess that's a little better. She also said she was really easy to guilt trip into things. I said, "You mean you let someone who you've never met before guilt trip you into walking his dog for him." She said that's basically how it was. Now, THAT'S pretty bad.

Other news. Oh, yeah, I got a ride home from Cassanova today. I forget if I've mentioned him before, but if I did, I surely called him Cassanova, Don Juan, or something like that. This guy hits on every girl at the store that happens to be the least bit attractive. Over and over and over again. One poor girl that works the express lane is almost always there when he buys a pop on his way out the door, and she gets it constantly. She always looks so miserable.

It's not that he's a lech or anything. Well, in a way he is, but not in the true sense of the word. He just has an incredible amount of faith and no game to back it up. He THINKS he has game...well, I'm sure you all know the type. Plus, he's full of bullshit, making shit up that happened to him or a buddy of his to prove points, none of which sound even remotely believable.

And as for looks, it's hard to say. As Girl once remarked, he might be pretty good looking if he cut his nasty hair and took a shower once in awhile. Yeah, that pretty much sums him up.

Oh, and as we were leaving, Turk was just coming in to work and saw us. "Heyyyy, Wooooooodersoon (okay, not really, but something like that)!" Then as an after thought, "Cassanova." Hehehe. She's tied for number two on his list with the poor girl that works express, and barely he barely even gets acknowledged. Of course, he's not the type to let something like that lie, "Oh, oh! I see how it is!" All hints that come flying at him he takes as jokes. Just another part of his faith that one day his fumbling attempts at suaveness (is that a word?) will pay off.

When we got to his car, he remembered he forgot to take something back for an exchange, so we went back inside. He wanted me to ask Turk what she thought about him. HA! That was an answer I wanted to hear, but unfortunately she was pretty busy with customers until he was done, so I didn't get to ask. Of course, if I HAD asked, I'd have been left in the position of trying to figure out how to edit it down to soften the blow. Heh.

I don't mean to trash the guy. He really is a nice guy, and would probably make a girl really happy, as long as she could put up with all his bullshitting. But still! He said on the way home he hadn't been laid in over 2 years. Well, maybe if he quit hitting on everything that moved and was a little bit (okay, A LOT!) more subtle about things, played it a little cooler, he'd have some more luck. But when your "game" is asking every single girl to go out with you every single time you lay eyes on them, you're going to have some trouble. Eventually he switches from asking to just threatening, "One of these days I'll get you out on a date with me. Take you to dinner. You'll see!" Hehe, good luck with that, buddy.

Okay, enough snarkiness. It's about time for Girl to get off work. We're going to eat us some Wendies!

Wooderson

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