It all started with this homophobic guy that works at the store. His problem is, he just looks kinda gay, at least enough so he sets off a lot of gay men's gaydars. So he's constantly getting hit on by guys, according to him. Sine this makes him so uncomfortable, he went to the extreme lengths of wearing a wedding ring to scare off guys. Of course, I thought at first this would also scare off women, but then started to think about those women that go after married guys...

See, I've been telling Hockey Temper for months that if he really wants sex from a lot of girls, what he needs to do is get married to someone he doesn't really care about, then cheat on her with all the chicks that go after married guys. After hearing the story of the guy and the wedding ring, it clicked.

So without further ado:

How To Get Sex

If you're single and looking for women, perhaps you've encountered this problem. Some of the women you go after want nothing to do with you, instead perferring to moon over married men. Why is that? Perhaps these women think there is something inherently wrong with guys that can't get a girlfriend or a wife. Maybe it's because married men project a sense of stability these women find lacking in their own lives, and also they figure there must be SOMETHING about these men that made their wives want to spend the rest of their lives with them. Then there's the whole instinctual drive women seem to have to compete with their fellow womenfolk.

For whatever the reason, as married men such as myself can testify, a I could have a whole lot more women now than when I was single. Us good husbands can resist, but many cannot.

So, single men, here's what I propose:

Wear a wedding band and talk about your "wife!"

This is only really effective in the bar scene, or if you change jobs. You can just go in to work one day say you're married. Even if you say it was a whirlwind romance, no one will take a one-date, courthouse wedding seriously enough to make you desirable.

Present yourself as a very good husband, not some lecherous one that cheats constantly. There's no stability in that, nor any challenge. If you've just started a job, be seen buying flowers, or overheard ordering them delivered to your home. It's all in the details.

When women do start to approach you, play hard to get. No woman wants a pushover. Allow yourself to be broken down gradually. Make her work for it, that's half the fun.

At the point you decide to "give in," remember not to take her to your home. Go to hotels or back alleys. It's important this woman never find out where you live, lest she find out you don't actually have a wife.

While it may seem like a lot of work, this is actually the best relationship for a man just looking for sex. The lack of commitment is implied, the women know they aren't moving in with you or getting married, at least not until you divorce your first wife. Heh. And then there's the fact that it's always exciting, especially for her. Relationship councilors are always telling married couples stuck in a rut to have affairs with each other, act like they're picking each other up in bars and go to hotels and all that fun stuff, just to keep the relationship fresh. Apparently, the best sex is illicit sex. And that's all you'll be having. Perhaps the woman will perform extra well, because she's so excited by all the sneaking around.

And why stop at one woman? It may, in fact, be beneficial to have two women. That way, you can play each one against each other. Tell Woman A that Woman B is your wife, and vice versa. That way, if you're seen together, it adds realism.

This is also a good method of "dating" because, if you don't feel like seeing them on any given day, you have an easy out, "Sorry, baby, the wife's been on me about not spending time with her anymore, so I have to be with her tonight." No more explaination is needed.

Of course, eventually, most women end up coming to love the man they're in the "affair" with, or the novelty of sneaking around wears thin and they call it off. In the latter case, so what? Easy break up, you can just try it all again with some other woman. Hell you'll probably have a whole assortment of women on your nuts by this point, just waiting for you to "break down" and have sex with them. Just move on to the next.

In the former case, you get to have some fun. When they fall in love with you, eventually they're going to come at you with the line: "Either you tell your wife about us or I will!" This is what gets married men in trouble, but for you, it's no problem. You just laugh at her and say, "Ha ha! Fuck you, bitch, I ain't even GOT a wife! I've been playing you the whole time. And by the way, you should be ashamed of yourself for going after a man you thought was married!" Hehehe. At that point, she'll be all hurt and confused and certainly want nothing more to do with her. But, at the same time, you wouldn't want anything to do with a woman that would come at you with an ultimatum like that, would you? Hells fucking no, you wouldn't! Of course, at this point you'll be completely exposed, so you may have to start frequenting different bars or change jobs. But, as all single men know, that's a small price to pay for cheap lays with no strings attrached!

So good luck all ye who follow this advice. Let me know how it turns out.

Wooderson

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